Rob Ford is out of control and a real danger to himself (Rosie DiManno)

Rob Ford is out of control and a real danger to himself

The pathology of Rob Ford is bred in the bone.

I understand this better now.

It’s in his genes. It courses through his veins. It is both nature and nurture.

He is, I truly fear, doomed — not as mayor, which hardly seems to matter anymore, but as a human being, the product of a profoundly myopic and maladroit family.

They are The Dysfunctionals.

Undoubtedly, it takes guts to invite a TV journalist into one’s home amidst the maelstrom raging around a beloved son, a brother.

Two Ford women did that late Thursday — matriarch Diane, sister Kathy — sitting across from CP24 anchor Stephen LeDrew, summoned for the exclusive as new footage of a berserk mayor went viral.

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They don’t want him to resign. They scarcely want him to get the help he so obviously needs.

“He has a problem,” Mrs. Ford acknowledged. “He has a weight problem. He has a huge weight problem and he knows that.

“I think that is the first thing he has to attack, because this will change his whole demeanour.”

Forgive me for repeating myself: Jesus wept.

“Robbie is not a drug addict,” Kathy declared. “I know because I’m a former addict.”

Neither woman would even grant what Ford has admitted — that he’s a drunk, at least in episodic binges.

“It depends what you want to consider an alcoholic,” Kathy suggested. “When he drinks, he just goes full-tilt.”

Can there be any misinterpreting of this family’s skewed dynamics?

There is strong support: Go Rob. There is a pitiful lack of comprehension. And there is no wisdom.

“It’s not acceptable behavior,” Mrs. Ford conceded. “He is the mayor of the city. He knows that better than anyone. To err is human but to forgive is divine.

“We all err. Here, there is no forgiveness.”

In what passes for a family intervention last week, Mother Ford told her wayward son what she expected of him: Get a driver, get an alcohol detector for the car, do something about the weight, and “yes, see a counselor”.

But “not away in some rehab . . . ”

And definitely do it whilst staying in the job.

What hope is there for Ford when his own mother cannot or will not speak sobering truths, cannot or will not pull a drowning son towards the shallows?

There is no, sadly, no salvation for Ford from his intimates, not even — anymore — within his tightest inner circle of confidantes.

Quite apart from enabling siblings and a mother who has misjudged the severity of her son’s compulsions, there is also inside the compound walls a fink, or someone who’s had enough, or a conspirator who’s sold out the mayor for far less than 30 pieces of silver.

Rob raw: Incensed, inflamed, maddened.

Scary stuff.

We’ve seen Ford drunk. That man in screeching hysterics — caught on a tape obtained and released by the Star — does not, to me, look drunk.

On drugs maybe, except most illegal narcotics do not cause this kind of combustible fit, except possibly the paranoia induced by chronic cocaine use.

I suspect this is pure, unguarded, unfiltered Ford.

The alleged drinking problem, his self-proclaimed “drunken stupors” and convenient resultant blackouts, has now become Ford’s absolving excuse for crude, irrational behavior. It’s his version of pleading the fifth — a fifth of vodka.

“I was very, very inebriated,” the mayor claimed, emerging from his office minutes after the Star posted the latest video.

Wouldn’t say who he was talking to or who he was talking about in that outburst, hitching up his trousers, rolling up his sleeves: “I’m gonna kill that f---ing guy, I’m telling you. It’s first-degree murder.”

In the tape’s wake, a pathetic stab at damage control.

“All I can say is, again, I’ve made mistakes. All I can do is reassure the people that uh . . . I don’t know what to say.”

Ford should, at the very least, recognize if the footage was shot — surreptitiously, it seems — in his own house, a home shared with a spouse and two young children who would surely be terrified if they were present for such an expletive-laced, violence-threatening tirade.

“It’s extremely embarrassing,” said Ford. “The whole world’s going to see it. You know what? I don’t have a problem with that, but it’s extremely embarrassing. I don’t know what to say. Again, again and again, I’m apologizing.”

This has to stop. It is grotesque to watch.

The shocking part is that it’s not even shocking anymore. No less surprising than Ford’s clear intention to dig in his heels — buttressed by The Fords — while his personal life implodes.

Like Ford, I do not embrace the hug-a-thug philosophy. But somebody needs to wrestle this mayor to the ground. Left to his own oblivious devices, this guy is flirting with self-destruction, and not in a metaphorical sense. The weight, the booze, the drugs, the veins popping in his temples: He’s going to drop dead.

Those who love him are, in fact, killing him.

Our mayor requires more than just a little time off to detox and get a grip. Too many of us put naive faith in the redemptive properties of rehab but the process is notoriously unreliable and more often than not ineffective, especially once the patient leaves a controlled environment. It inevitably takes repeated stints before an individual can put a whole lot of gone between the drugs and the alcohol and his own addictive vulnerability.

Ford can remain mayor, the job he professes to love, reeling from one crisis to another, or he can put his health first, which obviously means defying The Fords, too.

Unfortunately, for all that has happened, Ford seems not yet to have hit rock bottom. What more — a cocaine-induced heart attack?

To hell with the procedural restrictions that exist for the removal of a mayor. To hell with Ford Nation proclaiming that only the electorate can decide Ford’s fate. This is a human being in agony. As a matter of medical urgency, Premier Kathleen Wynne must step in and be mom. Even phlegmatic Councilor Denzil Minnan-Wong, a solid Ford ally throughout this frenzy, has reached the end of his rope: “If he can’t find the exit, I think we need to show him the door.”

I’ve had little sympathy for the woes the mayor has brought upon his own head. But I can no longer bear to watch what is unfolding. He is, so sadly, alone.

Grotesque to watch, yes, but not, I firmly argue, shameful to show.

Do not allow the media Cassandras, the scolds of journalism, to steer this latest episode into a sidebar on the purported barbarism of our business.

The Star did indeed pay for the video, which is not the second tape to which Police Chief Bill Blair alluded last week when he confirmed the existence of the “crack” video.

Ford is not just any schlemiel, smoking crack or toddling wasted along the Danforth, or indulging in a deranged screed possibly inside the privacy of his home. He’s the mayor of the fourth-largest city on the continent, and for many people now the world over the face of Toronto. The alleged ignominy doesn’t bother me. Toronto will recover just fine from Hurricane Rob. Only if he stands for office again — and wins, which might very well happen — can we be blamed for the Folly of Ford II.

But citizens of this city need to know, need to see, need to hear the full mania of this man, and thus far it’s been mainly the Star doing that investigative digging, while Ford’s enablers and apologists — in and outside the media — excuse and exonerate.

This isn’t the pretend journalism of J-School, where ethics can be debated ad nauseum. It’s hardnosed newspapering that speaks truth to power, truth to deceit.

I argued the Star should have paid for the original crack video. I have zero conflict about buying this one.

Some pundits may shudder at checkbook journalism. I shudder at their shallow news judgment.

Most of all, I am grateful for a mother who would smack me across the face first and then drag my sorry ass to rehab.

You can’t treat addiction with willpower and denial (Peter Selby)

As they say - the truth will set you free.

You can’t treat addiction with willpower and denial

Addiction is an equal opportunity disease. It can affect the educated, the uneducated, the rich as well as the poor. What is certain is that it destroys families and society if left untreated.

Everyone has their own understanding of this terrible condition that can affect up to 15 per cent of the population. Loved ones and addicts themselves often frame it as moral failure or weakness because despite multiple apologies and promises to do better, the addict continues to relapse with the associated secrecy, lying, stealing, shame and guilt. Few look at the scientific advances to better understand this brain disease that robs individuals of their ability to resist the behaviour be it alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs or gambling. The consequence is the deterioration of the addicted person physically, psychologically and morally, and not the other way around as is commonly understood.

Current research identifies at least three brain circuits involved in the addictive process. These circuits mediate reward and pain, appetite, learning and memory. In the addicted brain, it is thought the activation of these circuits override the self control circuits despite the best intentions not to use. In other words, the brain has been hijacked and the person loses control. What underlies this is the genetic risk interacting with social, economic and environmental factors to cause the brain to malfunction.

These phenomena have been incorporated into the definition of addiction as a chronic relapsing brain disorder by the American Society of Addiction Medicine and the symptoms include cravings and withdrawal with observable consequences such as loss of control and continued substance use despite negative consequences to self or others. These have been codified into criteria in DSM 5, the psychiatric diagnostic tool, to facilitate reliable diagnosis.

It should be noted that the legal status of the drug doesn’t necessarily correlate with the harm caused. Alcohol and tobacco are addictive, can cause as much or worse damage and are often harder to quit than some illicit drugs. Consequences of heavy alcohol use, for instance, range from cirrhosis to many kinds of cancer, and socially from drunk driving to increased violence.

Addiction is more about the maladaptive pattern of behaviour than the drug itself, or the amount used per se. Therefore, urine drug tests cannot diagnose addiction, only confirm use of an addictive drug. And most people fail to recognize their addiction because the social norms of “getting wasted” or high is tolerated in their home, social and work environment.

The tragedy is that despite addictions being treatable with a combination of medications and behavioural counselling, the stigma associated with this disorder leaves many people relying heavily on will power alone to get better. Curiously, the very organ, the brain, that will need to be engaged in the recovery process is compromised by the addiction itself. Therefore, the most important first step for friends and families is to address the denial and refrain from any action that perpetuates the addictive behaviour. This is how the motivation to change can be kick-started facilitating the true appreciation of the consequences of the addictive behavior by the addict. Ideally this leads to self-realization. It can be facilitated by work places, colleagues, friends, bosses and family members reflecting concern to the addicted person or holding the addict accountable for their actions. Patients will often tell us that prior to seeking help, it was the intervention by others that got them to realize the impact of the addiction. Many people are afraid to speak up due to fear of damaging their relationship and not knowing what to say. However, if done with compassion combined with clarity and firmness the relationship is not likely to be harmed. In fact, the expressed concern might just motivate the person to make a change.

Relapses are common and therefore the goal of treatment is to help the person stop, stay stopped and ensure that relapses are treated swiftly should they occur. With the right support and care, people with addictions can become fully themselves, as well as fully productive members of society.

Dr. Peter Selby is chief of addictions at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)

7 Traits Of Highly Influential Leaders (Meghan M. Biro)

7 Traits Of Highly Influential Leaders

 

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Without question, the world of work today runs on social media in some shape or form. It has changed the nature of work, play, friendship, commerce, romance — the list goes on and on. Where to begin?

Creatures of Influence (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For leaders, social media is an extraordinary tool. It enables new levels of communication and community. It establishes an immediate connection between a leader and people. It runs in real time. And it creates a dialogue and a forum that can lead to increased productivity, unity, and profits.

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And yet an astonishing 70-80 percent of leaders aren’t even on social media. That’s like playing tennis with one arm tied behind your back: it puts you at distinct disadvantage (understatement). And too many leaders who are on social media pay it lip service, and use only a fraction of its potential.

The good news is that with a little practice everyone can master this exciting new discipline. Here are five steps to get you going.

1) Be Yourself. You can’t create a social media persona that isn’t true to you. It will simply be impossible to sustain, and it won’t feel genuine to your colleagues and employees. So find a voice that is comfortable, honest, and true. Be open and transparent. Be yourself, but be your best self. Remember: humor is a priceless tool.

2) Stay On Message. You can’t be all things to all people, and you don’t want to dilute your overarching message by going on tangents that you cannot put your heart behind. People need to know that when they read your posts, they will be getting something of value that will educate, inspire or energize them.

3) Put Quality Over Quantity. We all have social media favs whose posts we just can’t wait to read, because we know we’ll learn something. Then are those who post about what they had for lunch. Make sure every post is worthwhile. Don’t worry about not posting for a couple of days, better a short break than a ceaseless stream of ho-hum “I’m so great” posts.

4) Start A Real Dialogue. There are few things more exciting than a social media site that really engages employees in a forum that sparks insights and ideas. One thought leads to another and soon everyone is contributing and a sense of ownership takes hold. Encourage this outcome by asking questions, and soliciting ideas and input from the community.

5) Invest In Your Site/Social Media Presence. We’ve all seen tired looking sites, or sites that are slow and cumbersome to navigate or are not mobile friendly. They’re workplace culture killers. We all love speed and ease these days, and sites that are clean, uncluttered and operate smoothly are much more apt to engage users.

6) Think Before You Post. Know what you’re trying to accomplish. Vet your post for anything that is poorly written, or might be confusing or offensive. Like all powerful tools, social media can go very wrong. Be spontaneous, open and reactive, but always…..>>>

7) Have Big Fun. Sounds so trite, doesn’t it? Well, trite or not, the fact is that stellar talent and effective leaders love what they do. The line between work and play blurs for them. They are having a blast and it’s reflected in their success.

Remember: social media is not some amorphous behemoth, although it can seem that way to those uncomfortable or unfamiliar with it. Think of social media not as something you have to conquer, but as your partner and ally in the quest for breakthrough performance.